Reflections from 1,000 Days Without Alcohol
Today marks 1,000 days without alcohol. You might wonder what this has to do with leadership, coaching, or business. In fact, quite a lot. But let me give you some context first.
This was not a challenge I signed up for, nor the result of a New Year’s resolution. Neither did I stop drinking because of medical advice. Remaining alcohol-free for such a long time was never a plan — it simply happened. It was like collecting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle which, over time, revealed a bigger picture.
A Friend Seeking Help
The first puzzle piece came from a conversation with a dear friend who confided in me about his concerns with alcohol consumption. “Actually, I have a beer almost daily after work. And most times, it doesn’t stop at one”, he told me. “And when the neighbours are having a party, I realise I regularly drink too much.”
He was seriously concerned, and I was deeply touched by his sharing. He is a highly intelligent man, an active sportsman, a family man, and holds a job with high responsibilities. At any time, I would trust him with my life. He does not fit my stereotype of an alcoholic at all.
The story took a positive turn, though: as a result of our deep conversation, he managed to get his habit under control, gave me weekly updates about his abstinence, and is currently preparing for a marathon.
However, this encounter led me to reevaluate my own relationship with alcohol.
While not a regular drinker, I noticed a habit forming — a glass of wine on Fridays as a reward for a hard week’s work. And as my wife hardly ever drinks any alcohol, I often ended up finishing a bottle of red wine by myself over a weekend. Probably not excessive by general standards, yet, perhaps a considerable amount.
Sensitised by my friend’s sharing, I noticed how, after a lot of work during the week, I would start looking forward to my “reward” already on a Thursday. And while I can certainly thoroughly enjoy the taste of nice glass of wine, I also realised that part of the process was me appreciating the sedating effect at the end of the working week.
The heightened sensitivity also made me realise that whenever I had more than one glass of wine, it affected my next-day vitality. Certainly far from a hangover, but I didn’t feel fully refreshed after a night’s sleep. And I didn’t like that.
I started to reflect more deeply on my relationship with alcohol as well as how we deal with it in society.
Alcohol Ruins Families
One of my first encounters with the truly tragic effects of alcohol on families was in my early twenties. I played squash in the local club when one day a new player joined. Let’s call him Tony. Tony was a bit older than me, quite fit, and a very nice guy. I enjoyed our encounters on and off the court. After our practice, the team would usually gather in the clubhouse for some food and, eventually, beers. Tony never had a beer.
Once we got more acquainted, Tony unveiled the secret behind his abstinence: “I am a recovering alcoholic,” he admitted. I was impressed with him sharing this openly; at the same time, I was surprised that someone with such a history could perform so well in sports.
Then, one day, in the middle of the night, my phone rang. I couldn’t understand a word the caller was saying; he was just slurring. But the voice sounded familiar. “Tony, is that you?” The response was just a grunt that apparently meant “yes”. “Do you need help?”, I asked. Another confirming grunt.
I woke up my cousin who was living in the same house, and together we somehow managed to transport Tony to the hospital.
The most devastating part of it all, though, was the distressing scene we encountered at his home with his partner and kid. Crying, screaming, shouting.
Alcohol destroys families.
Alcohol at Work
Another encounter that still sticks with me was my first corporate Christmas party. I was a young university graduate and it was my first year as a manager. One of the bosses I actually looked up to got so drunk that he could not talk clearly anymore. I felt his behaviour was inappropriate, and I decided to be a better role model myself. I made sure to control my alcohol consumption in professional settings.
It was wise to do so: much later I learned that employees observe what and how much I drank at corporate events. “I see that today you are drinking wine but last time in Wuppertal you were having a beer”, one of the staff shared with me. I was a bit perplexed. Perception management, one of the most important subjects of my executive coaching assignments today, takes place all the time.
Many years later when I relocated to Thailand as an expat for the same company, I learned that an employee had a fatal accident when driving home intoxicated from the corporate Christmas party.
Alcohol kills people.
You see how alcohol relates to your leadership, and you may want to reflect:
- What kind of role model do you want to be when it comes to alcohol consumption?
- What may be the impacts of your behaviour on others?
- Can people in your organisation enjoy company events without alcohol? In fact, is it responsible behaviour to serve alcohol at such events?
Another “confession” reached me once again years later when I was already an executive coach: a member of the board of one of the chambers of commerce shared with me that he felt he had become an alcoholic as a result of being on the board. It was common practice to drink heavily at any occasion. He felt the peer pressure was just too much. It seemed impossible for him to get away with just drinking one glass, not to mention refusing to drink at all.
It also seems common practice that you “must” drink when you are in sales, for instance when you are “entertaining” customers.
How did we end up accepting consuming this drug as general practice? How would we react if someone said it was common practice to use cocaine when taking out clients?
Alcohol in Society
Early exposure to alcohol as a societal norm is concerning. At a young age, children witness alcohol used as a coping mechanism for stress or as a default component of celebrations. Too many movies reinforce this idea, portraying alcohol as an acceptable response to life’s challenges.
Is it then surprising that kids start consuming alcohol at a young age to feel they are part of society? A strange society it is though.
In this context, a comment made by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh struck a chord with me and provided another piece of the puzzle: during a retreat, a woman in London shared with the Zen Master, “I have been drinking two glasses of wine every week for the last twenty years, and it has done me no harm at all. Why should I give it up?” Thich Nhat Hanh wisely responded: “It’s true that two glasses of wine do not harm you. But are you sure they do not harm your children? You may not have the seed of alcoholism in you, but who knows whether the seed of alcoholism is in your children. If you give up wine, you’ll be doing it not only for yourself but also for your children and for your society.” (Thích, 1999, p.97).
At another occasion, the Zen Master writes, “Alcohol abuse is one of the main symptoms of the malaise of our times. (…) To stop drinking one glass of wine a week, even if it has not brought us any harm, is a deep practice, the insight of someone who knows that everything we do is for our ancestors and all future generations. I think that the use of drugs by so many young people could be stopped with this kind of insight.” (Thích, 2015, p.107)
What role model are you with respect to alcohol consumption? And what role model do you want to be for future generations?
Health and Alcohol
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), three million deaths every year result from harmful use of alcohol, and more than 5% of the global burden of disease and injury is attributable to alcohol. In people aged 20–39 years, almost 14% of total deaths are attributable to alcohol, (World Health Organization, 2022) and a recent WHO news release claims that “no level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health.” (World Health Organization, 2023)
Rather than trying to cover the extensive field of the impacts alcohol has on health, I just want to share two more personal puzzle pieces I collected.
In 2022, I was diagnosed with a medical condition that may result in a permanent bending of one or more of my fingers. Nothing life-threatening but a rather unpleasant outlook. So I wondered how I could prevent this from happening and did some research. I found an article stating that two glasses of alcohol per week could worsen the condition. Even though I soon found out that this was a wrong summary of the original research — which stated that it was actually two glasses a day — I felt alarmed about potential long-term effects caused by alcohol.
It was about that time, too, that I listened to a neuroscience podcast “What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health” claiming that “even low-to-moderate alcohol consumption negatively impacts the brain and body in direct ways.”(Huberman, 2022)
For me, as someone who studies how the brain works, this only increased my alertness further.
Why would I risk causing damage to my brain and body? Why would you?
How 1,000 Days with No Alcohol Just Happened
With these considerations in mind, I refrained from alcohol for several months toward the end of 2022. However, during the Christmas holidays, I occasionally savoured a glass of wine while spending cherished moments with family and friends. Nevertheless, I noticed I didn’t enjoy the occasional glass of wine as much as I did before.
The turning point occurred, unexpectedly, on January 8, 2023, at Frankfurt airport’s Lufthansa lounge. I found a comfy seat, overlooking the gangways and the runway. A scenery that captivated me since I was child. Eager to suck up the atmosphere and to witness the miracles of planes taking off and touching down safely, I dropped my bag and headed to the buffet. As I reached for a Prosecco bottle, a habitual airport indulgence, I paused: did I genuinely desire it or merely succumb to habit and the allure of something free? I realised it was the latter. And so, I chose otherwise.
This prompted a plan to remain alcohol-free for a few more weeks, however, without any specific goal or target date. Over time, the initial weekend cravings faded. One month led to another, and suddenly, today, I find myself abstinent for 1,000 days—and it just feels fantastic!
Now what?
First of all, I hope I am not coming across like preaching from a moral high ground, condemning alcohol and everyone whoever has a sip. And I am not saying that I will not ever have any alcohol again. There may come a time where a glass of wine will indeed make a nice meal perfect. Or I might raise a glass to a birthday or a New Year.
My hope though is that sharing my story prompts some reflection, whether you are a business leader or not. Your behaviour, your relationship with alcohol, can have a bigger impact on others and eventually society than you might think.
So, what impact do you want to have?
References
Thích, N.H. (1999). The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming suffering into peace, joy & liberation. London, Sydney, Auckland, Johannesburg: Rider Books, p.97.
Thích, N.H. (2015). Living Buddha, Living Christ. New York, New York: Riverhead Books, p.107.
World Health Organization (2022). Alcohol. [online] Available at: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol [Accessed 6 Jan. 2024].
World Health Organization (2023). No level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health. [online] Available at: https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health [Accessed 6 Jan. 2024].
Huberman, A. (2022). What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health – Huberman Lab. [online] Available at: https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health [Accessed 6 Jan. 2024].